Browsing Tag

Waiter Rant



December 6, 2012

10 Things Being a Waiter Has Taught Me
By The Bitchy Waiter

Our colleague, The Bitchy Waiter, has plenty to say about life on the floor. Some of it you may have even said yourself. Whatever the case, these insights shared in this column are great life lessons worth embracing as you engage in the business of hospitality. Read, learn, enjoy!

Working in restaurants for the better part of two decades has done a lot for me. True, it has given me a life-long disdain of lemons in water but there are many positive aspects that have come out of slinging hash for this many years. As I get older, I realize that many of the things I have learned in restaurants have carried over to my regular life and made me a better person.

1. Save for a rainy day. When most of your income depends on fluctuating tips, you get pretty good at holding on to money once you have it. A really great Friday night shift where you walk home with $250 can be followed by a Saturday morning shift during a blizzard where no one comes in and you only make twenty bucks. Waiting tables has taught me how to count my pennies and save what I make because you never know when the financial rug will be pulled out from under you. Or when the only people who sit in your station are going to think a dollar is still a decent tip.

2. How to make small talk. Going into any situation where you are surrounded by strangers can be difficult. Whether it’s a party, a new job or a meeting, the first impression you make is a lasting one. Being a waiter has given me the skills to make conversation with anyone and everyone and I don’t get nervous when I have to talk to strangers. It’s as easy as asking them how they would like their burger cooked. When all else fails, compliment their outfit.

3. Don’t sweat the small stuff. There was a time when I was a newbie and I would run into the kitchen to stress out until the burger for table 12 was ready. One day, an older server told me something I will never forget: “It’s just lunch. There will be another one tomorrow and there is no such thing as a lunch emergency.” I have carried that calming thought outside of the restaurant. When I am stuck on the train or in traffic or in a long line at the store, all I have to remember is that in the scope of world events, this is probably not a very big deal.

4. How to get along with others. A restaurant staff is ever-changing. People come and go and you never know who you will be working with each shift since it’s very seldom that you have a set schedule. Because of that, some days you work with people you like and some days you don’t. But working in a restaurant requires teamwork. Whether you like everyone or not, you still may need to ask someone to water your table and they will ask you to take some bread somewhere. You quickly figure out that it’s easier to just get along than it is to not. Suck it up. You don’t have to like everyone, but it’s pretty easy to get along with everyone.

5. Time management. Having a station full of people all needing things at the same time is a real lesson in making the best use of your time. If table 1 needs to have their cocktails rung in and table 2 needs more water and table 3 needs a spoon for their dessert that will be up any minute, you get real good at figuring out which one is the most important. (The spoon. Duh.)

6. Multi-tasking. This goes right along with time management. If you ring in the drinks and then grab the water pitcher on your way to the side stand to get spoons, you can then drop the spoons at table 3, fill the waters at table 2 and then breeze by table 1 to tell them their drinks are on the way. This is handy in the real world at places like grocery stores, malls and while cleaning your apartment.

7. A smile will get you far in life. When someone sits in my station and has a sour-puss look on their face and then tells me they want the happy hour price for their beer even though happy hour ended five minutes ago, I am not going to do it. In contrast, if someone is friendly and smiling and asks nicely, it is very possible that I will simply hit the happy hour beer price for them. A smile makes a huge difference.

8. How to treat other people. Being in a position of subservience really teaches you how to treat others. When I am treated poorly, it’s very obvious that the person doing the mistreating is used to having people to push around. I know what it’s like to be told what to do and to never hear the words “please” or “thank you.” When I am out in the real world, I make certain that I always make eye contact with anyone who is doing something for me and I make frequent use of “please and “thank you.” We are all people and we all deserve to be treated kindly. Servers know that. Vice Presidents of big corporations? Not so much.

9. Patience. It’s not easy to have patience when a three year old at your table wants to order for herself. The mom is saying, “You can do it, honey. Tell the man what you want,” but I can feel the stares of the four other tables who are needing my attention as well. Patience is learned and when your income is dependent on how patient and attentive you are, it’s learned quickly. That’s why when I am at the grocery store in the 10 Items or Less line stuck behind a senior citizen who has 15 items, I know to breathe deep and let it go. Patience is a virtue. Learn it.

10. Good shoes. I am on my feet all day and the shoes I wear are very important to my health and well-being. Cheap shoes don’t support your soles and they fall apart too soon. Waiting tables has taught me to spend the extra 25 bucks for the better shoes. They last longer, they look better, and they are more comfortable. Wear good shoes.

My point of writing this is to let everyone know that no matter what job you are in, there are things you can learn. These are just ten lessons from waiting tables. If you are a server, please share this and then share the lessons you have learned from your job. Every job can teach us something that can make us better people. We just have to open our eyes and recognize what it is we are being taught.

For more invaluable life (and work) lessons, check out Bitchy Waiter at:

Brain Food


January 31, 2011

Waiter Rant by Steve Dublanica

By Sara Gorelick

Anyone who has ever donned an apron or dropped a check on a table will enjoy Waiter Rant, an honest and comical look into the all guts and no glory universe that is the restaurant.

Author Steve Dublanica, aka The Waiter, takes no prisoners in his ode to this world. He says, “It was a look into a world I knew. Most people don’t know what happens behind the scenes. It’s all nice on the outside but very different on the inside, like the backstage of a play.”

All sorts of scenarios play themselves out every day in the dining room thanks to a variety of guests; from the patronizing parent to the wannabe foodie. In calling out every kind of tipper (all your favorites are in there, – the Verbal Tipper, Sugar Daddy, Former Waiter and the Whore) Dublanica leaves the reader to decide what sort of mark they themselves leave on the staff.

Waiter Rant regales with the everyday stories of working in the biz – generosity and gratuity, formidable bathroom conditions and hygiene, and even the not-so-rare account of what happens when your customer is more naughty than nice.

With tips on how to tip, advice on days to avoid eating out (i.e. New Year’s, Mother’s Day, Valentine’s Day), and how to be the perfect patron, Dublanica’s Waiter Rant is for more than those who maneuver the restaurant business daily; it is a fitting read for anyone in any industry who works to please a client and get a job done. And everyone should have that waiting experience for a year, says Dublanica, who emphasizes that it teaches so much about people.

“If you ask me, Valentine’s Day is one of the biggest scams going. Guys still paying off the baubles they bought wives and girlfriends at Christmas and Hanukkah are frightened by Madison Avenue into believing their sweethearts will transform into frigid harpies if they don’t shell out for some jewelry and round-trip tickets to an exotic island. Smelling blood in the water, restaurants replace their regular menus with “special menus” that give price gouging a good name. The foods many kitchens prepare on that holiday are often items they make only a couple of times a year. If your chef hasn’t had the practice of making the same dish day in and day out, your entrée’s, probably going to taste like rubber osso buco. If you’ve ever had a crappy meal on Saint Valentine’s Day, you know I’m right.”- Page 70, The Box of Chocolates Saint

“Somehow, as I’ve done on countless nights before, I pull my s**t together, stuff my anger and sadness into a secure mental compartment, and smile. My waiter armor will just have to make it through another night. Within half an hour my entire section is seated, cocktailed, specialed, and busy eating their appetizers. There’s a tender mercy to waiting tables. You can get so engrossed in what you are doing that you almost forget your troubles. I feel like I’m relaxing inside my brain while my body does all the work. For a few small minutes I find solace in going through the motions of a job I know how to do so well. Of course, the peace doesn’t last.” – Page 262, The Demons